SOLUTION!
Apparently there is an error in my interpretation of the documentation, or the documentation itself.
If you turn the LCD off, I would think that a GPIO is a GPIO. This is not the case.
LCDSUPPLY needs to have VLL3 driven externally. What this means? I don't know. Anyways, set LCDSUPPLY = 3;
Then, LCDC1 = 0x03; sets up the GPIO pins shared with the LCD pins to be used as a full complimentary output, instead of an open drain output. I figured this out luckily because I decided to re-wire one of my NPN transistors with a PNP and totem-pole them for a redundant circuit, and turning on the PNP worked like a charm! Well, not I know why! Searched open drain in the RM, and I found this gem.
Good luck to anyone else that comes across this! I hope my solution will help you some.