Freescale makes two different types of CAN controllers, generally called FlexCAN and MSCAN.
The MSCAN part is available in some of the other Freescale parts. If you want to stick with ColdFire, you can use the MCF51JM128.
Checking the Reference Manual, the MSCAN part looks like it does store the RTR bit in the receive frame, so you can use it to monitor these packets.
The following sentence indicates it does NOT support "RTR response in hardware":
Table 11-28. IDR3 Register Field Descriptions — Extended
Remote Transmission Request — This flag reflects the status of the remote transmission request bit in the CAN
frame. In the case of a receive buffer, it indicates the status of the received frame and supports the transmission
of an answering frame in software.
That does mean it would solve your "missing RTR response" problem.
You could add a CAN controller to an SPI port. I've developed a product based on the MCF5329 with three external SPI-connected CAN controllers, (total of 4 CAN ports), but with that experience I'd strongly recommend against doing it that way. Programming CAN parts is hard enough without putting them on the end of an SPI bus.
Tom