First of, thanks for wanting to help!
However, your instructions are totally unclear, especially about the reset.
You write the reset has to be connected to ground while SPIMISO is. After programming SPIMISO should be returned to 3.3v.
So.. is this the correct way?
1) connect SPIMISO and RESET to ground
2) program/flash device
3) connect SPIMISO and RESET to 3.3v
4) reset device.
Ah.. i found the culprit, it was the baudrate. After selecting the lowest baudrate, it started working.
For other people who are confused about the above instructions, this is the full writeout:
1) connect everything as described, and SPIMISO to ground
2) connect reset to ground
3) connect reset to 3.3v
4) flash the device on the lowes baudrate settings
5) connect SPIMISO to 3.3v
6) reset device.