Summary of Direct ETH MAC MII to MAC MII connection without a PHY.
In the end I abandoned this idea so never attempted it.
However if someone wants to do this, then these are the key points to consider:-
1) IEEE802.3 spec does NOT support direct MII-MII connections, therefore you have to 'hack' your system to get it to work (note: but other direct connections are supported, eg RMII, GMII, RGMII etc).
2) Some IC's have 'MAC-MAC' mode, which should in theory allow MII-MII. These are typically found on ETH peripherals like ETH Switch's or ETH PHY. They are mainly there for test/debug purposes. You don't usually find them on the host IC's, ie CPU's or FPGA's (unless the IP core supports it). So its a matter of digging deep into datasheets and software drivers.
3) You must use full-duplex mode.
4) Clock delay: below shows the physical MII-MII connections with a external 25MHz ref CLK. Note that both CLK's need to be delayed by ~2ns. However this would equate to 12 inches of copper tracking (based on the 6in/ns FR4 rule of thumb)! Therefore it would be wiser to use a CLK delay/phase delay chip instead - unless this CLK delay is support internally by the IC's, but BOTH need to support that feature.
https://community.nxp.com/external-link.jspa?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcaxapa.ru%2Fthumbs%2F414271%2FSchemati...

So in theory if you connect it up as shown, set both IC's to MAC-MAC mode, with CLK delay and as full-duplex - it should work.