As slave, if you don't know the exact length the master is going to send you, having SSEL as a pin interrupt to monitor the completion of DMA is the right thing to do. I recall XFERCOUNT field of Channel transfer configuration registers
should be updated when the SSEL interrupt occurs, if you set XFERCOUNT to max to begin with, say "MAX", on completion of SSEL interrupt, XFERCOUNT reading is "x", the number of bytes transfered by DMA is "MAX-x-1".